1. The Boot-Up Sequence
One fan, handle @crushed_velvet, wrote the definitive guide: "Version 0.3.5a isn't a game. It's a séance. Frankie isn't dead. He's just waiting for someone to press 'New Game' one more time. The lovebites are real. They're on your neck. You just haven't looked in the mirror since you played." No known copy of 0.3.5a exists on the public web. But if you find a CD-R with a scratched-off label at a garage sale… maybe don't install it. Or maybe do. Frankie's waiting.
When Sunny offers a "sunny smile," your cursor turns into a heart. Clicking initiates -LOVEBITES-. Pip’s avatar stands frozen as Sunny's petals wrap around him. A counter appears: AFFECTION: 97% . Then 98% . Then a crunch. Pip’s HP doesn't drop. His happiness does. And when happiness hits zero, his eyes turn into X’s, and the text reads: "Pip has learned what love costs." Frankie--39-s Funclub -v0.3.5a- -LOVEBITES-
Despite—or because of—its horror, -LOVEBITES- has a cult following. Fans call themselves "The Bitten." They trade save files like war stories. They’ve mapped every hug, every glitched smile, every frame where Frankie’s rabbit waves directly at you , not Pip.
The CRT monitor hums to life in a basement that smells of dust, stale soda, and regret. You double-click the icon—a crude pixel art of a rabbit in a top hat, missing one ear. The splash screen flickers: FRANKIE'S FUNCLUB Version 0.3.5a "Where every day is playday!" Loading... But the loading bar stutters. Glitches bleed purple and green across the screen. A distorted chime plays—half music box, half dying modem. You didn't download this game. It came on a burned CD-R, label handwritten in Sharpie: LOVEBITES . Frankie isn't dead
The patch notes, buried in a corrupted .txt file, read: v0.3.5a: Fixed issue where NPCs would remember past playthroughs. Removed "Hug" command after incident. Added LOVEBITES protocol. Do not exit through the basement door.
Too much.
In this version, you play as a latchkey kid named Pip. Your goal: collect tokens to unlock the "Forever Funzone." But the other mascots—Soggy the Cat, Mime Tilly, and a horrifically cheerful sunflower named Sunny—have been updated. They don't attack. They love you.